According To Candace Ray
Teenage girl sitting on window seat with head in hand

Know Thy Character

I have a lot of friends. I’ve been a social butterfly since kindergarten. It’s never been hard for me to make a friend. My mom always tells the story about how she took me up to Kindergarten for my first day. While she was a wreck crying while holding and kissing me, I was completely fine, practically pushing her out the door and smiling and waving bye. I’ve never been afraid to meet people and I’ve always relied on my innate ability to be my true self. I don’t know how to be anything other than myself and that’s enough for me.

Within being myself, I can’t lie and say I don’t have many layers. There is so much more than meets the eye.  I can be as fun and spontaneous as day loading on a Tuesday, as deep as the ocean with serious thoughts and theories, as unpredictable and blunt as a 4-year-old with no filter, or as gentle and soft as a lullaby. It’s all within me and makes me who I am. I’m just like anyone else. There’s never just one side to anyone. To know every part of someone is to truly love them and accept them for who they are. Within knowing and accepting someone, shouldn’t you be familiar with their character?

If you truly know a friend or family member, no one should be able to come to you about that person, tell you anything, and you automatically believe it. One of two things should happen. First, you should research or fact-check the information for truth. Secondly, you should be able to immediately confirm or deny whether what this person is bringing to you sounds remotely close to anything that would represent your friend/family member. If you know me, you should know what I would or would not do. Simple!

I’m a firm believer in knowing someone and their character. I don’t think you can be a good relative or friend without it. Granted, there are some things that may be believable about the person but everything shouldn’t be taken at face value. To know someone is to truly love and accept them so love them enough to honor their character. Be firm in what you believe. Wouldn’t you want someone to know you better than what people say you are or what you did?


Candace Ray

**You’re welcome for the memo”


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.