According To Candace Ray
Unhappy Couple On Bed

Level of Tolerance

Many of the extensive conversations I have these days are about relationships. Whether people are in them or striving to be in one, sex and relationships are always hot topics amongst a group of people. I love those topics. In some way shape or form, you always gain new knowledge and perspective from others within these discussions.  One of the topics that keep coming up with me and my girlfriends is Tolerance. The ability to be in a relationship and make it last is built on a few things but ultimately, tolerance plays a major part.

I look at relationships around me and even past ones of my own and I know that Tolerance is the main factor to what makes or breaks people. For example, if you are affectionate and like holding hands and cuddling and your partner is not very affectionate, does not like PDA and would rather have their space, being in relationship with them means that you’ll tolerate having less than what you want. If you love traveling and exploring new things and your partner is a homebody, content with local surroundings, you’re tolerating not being able to share a part of yourself with them. Tolerance boils down to acceptance. Once you tolerate something for so long, you seemingly accept it. If you accept something, why change it? It sits well with you. Right?

There are good sides to tolerance as well. For example, not being able to tolerate being disrespected because you never were before, or not tolerating someone who won’t pull their own weight in the relationship are good examples of knowing your worth and not just taking what you can get. What’s wrong with holding out and waiting for exactly who you want? Someone that is willing to hold you when you need it, explore with you, learn with you, and accept every quirky weird thing about you.  We all need that. There should be no shame in it. There’s no reason to tolerate less than what you want because you’re taking what you can get. Aren’t we worth more than that?



Candace Ray

*You’re Welcome for the Memo*


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