According To Candace Ray

She’s not your Friend Anymore and Here’s Why:

It’s a known fact that you can’t choose your family. That’s a given. You get who you get. Your mom and dad conceive you and then you are attached to them and everyone that comes with them. Your siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins all belong to you and you didn’t ask for a single one of them. Lucky you!

On the Brightside, you do have a few choices in people in your life. They are called friends. You actually choose to be around these people. You choose to confide in them, accept them, love them, be honest with them, and keep them around to be by your side at any given moment. If you’re lucky, you’ll get one of those ground breaking relationships with someone who will love you like a sibling, listen to you like a parent, and love you unconditionally. That’s a best friend and we all deserve to have one or two.

Sometimes, friendships can go wrong. Just because someone starts at the beginning with you, does not mean that they will end up at the finish line with you. That’s called life and it happens while you’re making other plans. There’s a number of things that can happen as a result of a friendship ending. Some things are petty yet others are completely necessary. She is not your friend anymore sweetheart and here’s why:

  • You’ve outgrown her

Once upon a time, you and your best friend would get dressed, go to the bar, dance and drink all night until the sun came up. A few days later, or even the next day, you’d turn around and do it over again. You’d both be dating guy after guy and gossiping about your latest rendezvous over Haagen Daas and trashy movies. The highlight of your friendship was influencing each other’s bad habits and standing by the other whether wrong or right. Now, you’re very into your career, steadily dating one person, and going to bed at a decent hour. You prefer nights in with wine, you’d rather have date night with your guy rather than multiple men in one week, and you’re better off with positive vibes than a reminder of your bad habits. Meanwhile, she’s still doing the same thing, week after week, drink after drink, guy after guy and you’re over it.


  • Jealousy

This is the ugly part of friendship that no one wants to believe is true. It’s a pretty hard concept. If you have it, someone else can have it too but that may not be the way they think of it. You have a career, a good place to live, you manage your finances well, you travel, you have someone who loves you in your life, everyone loves you and seeks your company and advice. You’re an admirable person and she absolutely hates it. She can’t get over all that you are. The same reasons everyone loves you are the same reasons she can no longer be your friend.


  • Priorities

There was once a time when you were carefree. You could do whatever, whenever, wherever and however. You were also that friend that was down to have fun but now you have those things called priorities. Maybe you’re a parent, or a student, or well into your career, or in a committed relationship, or an entrepreneur, or involved in your church.  There are things in your life that have become more important and you don’t have the same time. Some people don’t understand that. They don’t get that you’re not available as much as you used to be. At this point, you need the type of friends that understands you don’t talk every day but you’re still there and you’re still you. She’s just not one of them.

  • She was never your friend in the first place

Romantic relationships aren’t the only kind that you try to make work. Often, you do your best to make things work with people because it’s what you want and what you feel is right. You pretty much knew that she didn’t have your best interest at heart and she wasn’t the best friend to have but you kept trying to make it work, thinking it was for her sake. She didn’t have the best family, or any friends and she always got the short end of the stick when it came to her love life so you stayed. Through all the ways she treated you, the way she drained your energy and the way you always came through for her but she couldn’t be found when you were going through. Its time to let it go!


There could be more things like she slept with your man, screwed you out of a job, gossiped about you to other friends or even tried to harm you. There’s a number of reasons friendships could end but these are the recent culprits. Life changes every single day and these days, we have no time to waste on things that mean us no good. There will be negative people in your life but there will always be positive ones. Hold on to those who mean the world to you and want the best for you. That’s gold!



Candace Ray



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