I like to read different blogs and articles from time to time just for entertainment. I love supporting my fellow bloggers and writers and seeing what they are up to. I mostly like articles that relate to women and relationships because my focus is women, style and beauty. Talking about what you know is key in blogging so seeing other’s perspectives on what they know is always interesting.
I ran across an article by Nadirah Angail the other day and the title was “Mind My Womb.” I read the article and held back tears the entire time.
“Cries because her best friend is pregnant. Cries because she got invited to another baby shower. Cries because her mother keeps asking Girl, what are you waiting on?””
The reality of this article hit me very hard. I had no idea that I would feel that way. The article spoke about that burning question that us 20 something’s seem to get more times than we want to admit. “So, no kids yet?” It’s like a target on your back because you aren’t a part of the “First Mom’s Club”
It’s not like we don’t want to be a part of the club but it’s not our time or destiny and a constant reminder isn’t needed. It’s hard to be the girl who wants to do the right thing when your friends and family are getting married and having children left and right and you’re feeling left behind.
“Is there something wrong with me?”
You sit evaluating your life on every level because you’re in your late 20’s or 30’s and every relationship you’ve had hasn’t worked out and you have no idea when it will be your turn.
On the flipside, you may be in a relationship yet you’re perfectly fine with enjoying the time with that one person. You are totally filled with love and spontaneity and that’s enough for you. People feel the need to ask why you don’t want children or haven’t talked about the idea of having any, when you’re seemingly in love and happy. The concept of waiting to start a family or not have one at all seems taboo and the ridicule can get real.
Ultimately, we all just want to do it right. Those of us who’ve watched our friends and family members give birth to multiple children with multiple fathers and struggles of Baby Daddy drama with added financial and emotional stress, dare not take on those tasks willingly. Is it too much to be the woman who falls for a man who loves and respects her and wants a healthy relationship with a thriving family? We all want the fairytale and it doesn’t help when everyone around you reminds you that you’re not there.
It’s hard when you’re always the bridesmaid and never the bride. It’s tough when you’re always giving the babyshower gift and not in the position to receive. The hardest thing to watch is your friends celebrate another pregnancy when you can’t find one person to stick around in your life long enough to even have an anniversary. Your biological clock can be louder than a police siren and you need help to silence it not make it louder than it already is.
To those of you who wonder why the woman still hasn’t had children or is married in her late 20’s and 30’s, Be kind. She’s wondering the same thing.
*You’re welcome for the memo*
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